6th
Update on my Life
Junior year starts on Wednesday, and I’m terrified. I have such high ambitions, and I can’t be happy unless everything is perfection. My high standards are going to make me miserable. I am soo FUCKED for the math SAT’s, I tried to do a couple of problems today and yesterday but my concentration is so off and I get so many wrong that I juts give up. And i can’t do that!! At least tomorrow I’ll be making the most of my last summer days, because the sleepover with Kira is tomorrow…camping in a tent, roasting marshmellows and hotdogs, making homemade ice cream, snapping photos and things :) I’m freaked out about learning to drive and being old, this being 16 thing is freaking me out. Driving is so fucking hard, ever time I try to reverse I turn the wheel in the direction I think it’s supposed to go and it goes the opposite way. I’ll NEVER get my license at this rate. Hmmmm does anyone even read these rants? I’m just so scared for all the classes, but most of all the math SAT’s. english is no problem, math i’m actually retarded in. I can get an A in a math class because I just concentrate on the small bit i’m learning and memorize all about it, but in math SAT’s it’s partly a natural common sense and application of allo your knowledge. I’m readin gWuthering Heights right now, I love getting lost with a cup of tea and a gothic novel. Love the Bronte sisters. haven’t read any of anne’s work yet though. i feel like i’m getting so fat—I hate feeling like that, and i always feel like that. i don’t eat much, so i don’t know why i always feel fat when i look in the mirror. Next I want to read the Bridge of San Luis Rey. My internet is down and i’m on the only computer that has slow internet right now, and it’s really nice. I realize i would be so much more productive without the curse of the internet. the only fun day of the year is the first day of school and the last day of school. Well, let’s see, random thoughts about me: i am a naturally anxious and obsessive person, i love the smell of coconut, lavendar, almond, and lemon, i love st bernards (especially mine!), my greatest pet peeve is a copycat (like honestly I’d rather be around a total bitch than a person who steals ideas), one day i’d like to live in a rambling Irish moor in a big ancient manor house that I restore bit by bit, I want to have a solo exhibit really badly, my main goals this year are to do exceptionally in school and on my SAT’s, and write a short novella. I also want to have the best year of my life, which is my goal every year. I want to use the internet less (even though it’s great for posting my work, communicating with magazines, posting thoughts on my blog, etc), and secretly, I’d really like to meet a boy who really really likes me, because I’ve never experienced that before.
